COMING THROUGH THE RYE by William Saroyan CHARACTERS The Voice Butch, age 9 Carroll, age 70 Steve, age 27 Miss Quickly Roosevelt, age 3 Alice, age 5 Larry, age 7 Pedro Gonzalez, age 8 Johnny Gallanti, age 9 Henrietta, age 13 Hastings, age 27 Peggy A LARGE ROOM, beyond which is visible, in varying degrees of light and movement, infinite space. Sun, moon, planets, stars, constellations, and so on. The room is one of many. It is The American Room, and is so marked. Each person here has been conceived and is waiting to be born. Each possesses his ultimate physical form and ego. Ultimate, that is, in the sense that here, in this waiting room, he is the way he shall be the day he begins to die, or the day he dies, in the world. The faces of the unconceived appear to be a white cloud of a summer afternoon. A solemn but witty VOICE speaks. THE VOICE OK, people. Your time has come. You are now going to enter the world. You’ll find it a strange place. There are no instructions. You know your destiny now, but the moment you are in the world, breathing, you shall forget it. You can thank God for that, let me tell you. Good things, and bad, are ahead for each of you. The world is still new, and the idea of sending you out there for a visit has not yet proved itself to be a good one. It may in time, though. Your destination is America. (A phrase of patriotic music) It’s an interesting place. No better and no worse than any other place, except of course superficially, which the Americans make a good deal of, one way or the other. The climate’s fair everywhere, excellent here and there. Everything you do, you shall imagine is your own doing. You can thank God for that, too. You shall live as long as you shall. No more. You will find noise and confusion everywhere, even in your sleep. Sometimes in sleep, however, you shall almost, but not quite, return to this place. Nothing in the world is important. Many shall seem unimportant. In a moment you shall begin to be human. You have waited here nine months of the world’s time. A few of you a little less. From now on you shall be alone in body, apparently cut off from everything. You shall also seem to be alone in spirit. That, however, is an illusion. Each of you is the continuation of two others, each of whom was a continuation of two others, each of whom – and so on. (blithely) I could go on talking for two or three years, but it wouldn’t mean anything. OK, now here you go! Take a deep breath! (dramatically) Hold it! You will exhale in the world. OK, Joe, let ‘em out! (A few chords of music. Some PEOPLE go out. BUTCH, a boy of nine, and MR. CARROLL, a man of seventy, comes in. BUTCH is thoughtfully bouncing an old tennis ball.) BUTCH Well, we’re next, Mr. Carroll. Do you like the idea of being born? CARROLL Why, yes, of course, Butch. There’s nothing like getting born and being alive. BUTCH I don’t know whether I’m lucky or unlucky. Steve says I’m lucky because I don’t have to stay in the world very long, and Miss Quickly – she says it ain’t fair. CARROLL What ain’t? BUTCH Me having to get born, just for nine years. Before I get a chance to turn around I’ll have to come back, so what’s the use going? I’m the way I’m going to be when I die, and you’re the way you’re going to be when you die. I’m nine, and you’re an old man. CARROLL Butch, my boy, those nine years are going to be wonderful. BUTCH Maybe. Miss Quickly says it’ll take me five or six years just to begin. Gosh, that only leaves three. I won’t even get a chance to see any big league baseball games. CARROLL Maybe you will. BUTCH Heck no. How am I going to get from a little town in Texas to New York? CARROLL It may happen. BUTCH Boy, I hope it does, but Miss Quickly – she told Steve it wasn’t fair. CARROLL What wasn’t? BUTCH My father dying before I’m born and my mother being poor, and dying a year later. She says I may have to go to an institution. What the heck’s an institution? CARROLL That’s an orphanage, I guess. Now, listen, Butch, don’t you go worrying about anything. Everything’s wonderful out there. BUTCH How’s it really going to be? CARROLL Well, the minute you’re out there you’re alive, the same as here, only different. Out there you begin right away. BUTCH Begin what? CARROLL Living – and dying. They’re both beautiful, Butch. (happily) Living and dying in the world. That great big little tiny place. And from the first breath you take you begin being somebody: yourself. BUTCH I’m myself right now. CARROLL That’s because you’re here waiting. You’ve started at last. It takes a long time to get started. It took me – well, I don’t know how long exactly in the world’s time – but it was a long time. BUTCH Steve says the world stinks. CARROLL Now, Steve is a young fellow with ideas. He’s a nice boy, but he’s wrong about the world. It’s the only place for us, and any of us who get to go out there are mighty lucky. BUTCH What happens when we leave the world? CARROLL We come back. BUTCH Here? And wait some more? CARROLL Not here, exactly. We wait here, after we’ve started. When we leave the world we go back to where we were before we came here. BUTCH Where the heck’s that? CARROLL It’s not exactly any place, Butch. And it’s not exactly waiting either. This is where we wait. BUTCH Oh, well, I guess it’ll be all right. But nine years. What the heck chance will I have to see anything? CARROLL Butch, one day out there is a long time, let alone nine years. Twenty-four hours every day. Sixty minutes every hour. BUTCH What are you going to be out there, Mr. Carroll? CARROLL (Laughing) Oh, a lot of things, one after another. BUTCH Well, what? CARROLL Well, let’s see. (He brings out a paper and studies it.) It says here, Thomas Carroll. Mother: Amy Wallace Carroll. Father: Jonathan Carroll. Will be, at birth: Son, brother, nephew, cousin, grandson, and so on. BUTCH Brother? CARROLL Yes. I guess I’ve got a sister or brother out there, maybe a couple of sisters and a couple of brothers. BUTCH I thought we were all brothers. I thought everybody was related to everybody else. CARROLL Oh, yes, of course, but this kind of brotherhood is closer. Whoever my brother is, he has my father and mother for his father and mother. BUTCH Well, what the heck’s the difference? I thought we were all the same. CARROLL Oh, we are, really, but in the world there are families. They’re still all really one family, but in the world the family is broken down to the people you come from, and the people that come from you. It gets pretty complicated. BUTCH But everybody is one family just the same, though, ain’t they? CARROLL Well, yes, but in the world everybody forgets that for a while. BUTCH (Bringing out his paper, which is a good deal smaller than CARROLL’S) What the heck. I never looked at this. What do I get to be? (reading the card) James Nelson, also called Butch. By gosh, there it is right there. Also called Butch, but my real name is James Nelson. Let’s see what I get to be. (reading) Son. Newsboy. Schoolboy. (reflectively) Son. No brothers? CARROLL Well, I guess not, Butch. BUTCH Why the heck not? CARROLL There will be all sorts of kids out there in Texas. They’ll all be your brothers. BUTCH Hones? CARROLL Sure. BUTCH (Reading) Newsboy. What’s that? CARROLL Well, I guess you’ll sell papers. BUTCH Is that good? CARROLL Now don’t you worry about anything, Butch. BUTCH OK. The heck with it. (He puts the paper away.) CARROLL (Affectionately) Give me a catch, Butch. BUTCH (Delighted) No fooling? CARROLL Why, sure, I’m going to play second base for the New Haven Orioles. BUTCH (Throwing the ball, which CARROLL tries to catch) Who the heck are they? CARROLL A bunch of kinds in my neighborhood. (He throws the ball back.) (STEVE comes in. About twenty-seven, sober, serious, but a drunkard. BUTCH holds the ball and watches STEVE. Then goes to him.) BUTCH Steve? Tell him about the war – and all that stuff. STEVE (Looking at CARROLL, smiling) I was talking to the old lady – BUTCH He means Miss Quickly. STEVE Yeah. BUTCH (To CARROLL) If everybody is everybody else’s brother, what the heck do they have a war for? CARROLL Well, now Butch – STEVE (Laughing solemnly) I’m afraid you won’t be able to find a good answer for that question, Doc. BUTCH (Delighted) Honest, Steve? CARROLL Now, Steve, you know the world is a wonderful place. STEVE (Simply) I’m sorry, but I think it stinks. I think the human race is unholy and disgusting. I think putting people in the world is a dirty trick. CARROLL No. No. No, it isn’t, Steve. STEVE What is it, then? You’re called out, everybody’s a stranger, you suffer every kind of pain there is, and then you crawl back. A little tiny place that got sidetracked in space and began to fill up with terrible unclean animals in clothes. CARROLL Those animals have created several magnificent civilizations, and right now they’re creating another one. It’s a privilege to participate. BUTCH (Delighted) You mean the World Series? STEVE (Wearily) OK, Doc. Anything you say. CARROLL Excuse me, Steve. Can I ask you a question? STEVE Anything at all. CARROLL What’s ahead for you? STEVE A number of things. CARROLL Wont’ you tell me what they are? STEVE (To BUTCH) How about it, kid? Come back in a few minutes. BUTCH Ah, shucks. I want to listen. I’m not born yet. STEVE This is nothing. I’ll be seeing you. BUTCH (Obedient, going to one side) OK, Steve. CARROLL What is your destiny, Steve? STEVE (Pause) Murder. CARROLL (Amazed) Murder? STEVE (Slowly) Yes, I am going to murder another human being. CARROLL Oh, I’m sorry, Steve. STEVE He’s here, too. CARROLL Here? Who is he? STEVE I don’t know if you’ve noticed him. I have. His name is Hastings. CARROLL (Shocked) Ralph Hastings? STEVE That’s right. CARROLL Why, he’s a nice young fellow. Are you sure it’s not a mistake? STEVE No, it’s not a mistake. CARROLL Well, good Lord. This is awful. But why? Why do you do it? STEVE It’s a lot of nonsense. CARROLL What do you mean, Steve? STEVE You know he’s rich. Well, he does a number of things that I think wreck the lives of poor people, so I – If he’s going to wreck lives of people, what’s he born for? If all I’m supposed to do is kill him, what am I born for? CARROLL I’m sorry, Steve. Of course you’ll never know once you’re out there. STEVE That’ll help some, of course, but I just don’t like the idea. What do you do, Doc? CARROLL Oh, nothing really STEVE Do you kill anybody? CARROLL No, I don’t Steve. I do a lot of ordinary things. STEVE Do you raise a family? CARROLL (Delighted, but shyly) Oh, yes. Three sons. Three daughters. All kinds of grandchildren. STEVE (Sincerely) That’s swell. That’ll help a little. CARROLL Help? Help what? STEVE Help balance things. CARROLL Do you marry, Steve? STEVE Not exactly. CARROLL (A little shocked but sympathetic) Oh? STEVE I get a lot of women, but not a lot of them. I get a year of one, though. That’s toward the end. She’s here. (smiling) I’m a little ashamed of myself. CARROLL Why should you be ashamed? STEVE Well, she’s Peggy. CARROLL (Shocked) Peggy? STEVE She’ll probably be all right for me by that time. CARROLL Peggy’s really a good girl, I suppose, but she seems so – STEVE I don’t know here very well. (MISS QUICKLY enters, with SEVEN KIDS, ranging in age from 3 to 13: ROOSEVELT, black, aged 3. ALICE, aged 5, LARRY, aged 7. PEDRO GONZALEZ, Mexican, aged 8. JOHNNY GALLANTI, Italian, aged 9. BUTCH, HENRIETTA, aged 13.) MISS QUICKLY Now, children, what’ll it be? Singing or play-acting? SOME Singing. SOME Play-acting. ROOSEVELT (Emphatically, as if with a grudge) Nothing. MISS QUICKLY Nothing, Roosevelt? Now, really, you want to sing, don’t you? ROOSEVELT No. MISS QUICKLY You want to act in a play, don’t you? ROOSEVELT No. MISS QUICKLY You want to – ROOSEVELT No. I don’t want to o nothing. MISS QUICKLY But why, Roosevelt? ROOSEVELT Because. MISS QUICKLY Because what? ROOSEVELT Because I don’t. MISS QUICKLY Don’t you want to have fun? ROOSEVELT No. MISS QUICKLY (Patiently) But why, child. ROOSEVELT Because. MISS QUICKLY Oh, dear. STEVE (Calling) Come here, Roosevelt. ROOSEVELT (Going to STEVE) She’s always making us do stuff. MISS QUICKLY (Gaily, to STEVE) Oh, thank you, Steve. All right, children, we’ll sing. ROOSEVELT (getting up into STEVE’S arms) They’re going to sing! She’s always making people sing, or something. (looking at MISS QUICKLY) Shame on you! STEVE You stick with me, pardner. ROOSEVELT Wants ‘em to play act. MISS QUICKLY (Sharply) All right, children! (She blows the pitch) Beautiful Dreamer by Stephen Foster. Ready. One, two, three: Sing! (MISS QUICKLY and the CHILDREN sing the song.) That was fine, children. Now, Roosevelt, don’t you want to sing? ROOSEVELT (Opening his eyes) Shame on you – talk to me that way! MISS QUICKLY My gracious! Come along, children! (They go to one side. RALPH HASTINGS comes in, looks around. He is a well-dressed, decent sort of fellow, same age as STEVE, but younger looking. He looks at ROOSEVELT, runs his hand through the kids’ hair.) HASTINGS How’s the boy? ROOSEVELT No. HASTINGS (Laughing) No, what? ROOSEVELT No, everything. STEVE (Comforting him) OK, kid. ROOSEVELT (With anger) Only Steve’s my pardner. HASTINGS Sure. ROOSEVELT Steve’s the best man everywhere. HASTINGS (Smiling at STEVE) Sure, he is. CARROLL (Studying the two young men sadly) Well, Mr. Hastings, here we are. HASTINGS By the grace of God, here we wait for the first mortal breath. Are you please, Mr. Carroll? CARROLL I can’t wait to begin. HASTINGS You, Steve? STEVE (Simply) I’m here. HASTINGS And so am I. (pause) Well – STEVE Look. I don’t know if you know, but if you do – HASTINGS As a matter of fact, I do know, but what the hell – ! STEVE I want you to know – HASTINGS (Cheerfully) It’s all right. CARROLL (Thoughtfully) There must be some mistake. HASTINGS No, there’s no mistake. Everything’s in order. I’m sorry, Steve. I’ll have it coming to me, I suppose. STEVE I don’t think so. HASTINGS These things all balance. I must have it coming to me. STEVE That’s why I say the world stinks. HASTINGS It depends, I guess STEVE (Sincerely) Thanks. (to CARROLL) Right now he’s the way he is the day he dies, and I’m the way I am that day. It’s obvious it’s not him, and not me, so it must be the world. HASTINGS We’re not human yet. STEVE You mean we’re not inhuman yet. CARROLL Now, boys. HASTINGS (Cheerfully) Of course, Mr. Carroll. (to STEVE) I have a lot of fun, after a fashion, as long as it lasts. How about you? STEVE (Laughs, stops) It’s OK. (PEGGY comes in, looks around, comes over to the three men. She simply stands near them.) You know – I like you, Peggy. Even here, you’re lost. PEGGY Oh, it’s boring – that’s what burns me up. Nothing to do. No excitement. I want to get started, so I can get it over with. I want to dance... (CARROLL and HASTINGS move away.) STEVE Ah, now, Peggy – sure you do. PEGGY All I want to do is get it over with. I’m in a hurry. When do we start? STEVE (He puts ROOSEVELT with the other kids) Any time, now – any minute. They just go rid of another mob. We’re next. (pause, while he smiles at her) Near you, Peggy, I’m in a hurry myself. (He takes her by the shoulders.) PEGGY (Shocked a little) Here? STEVE What’s the difference? I’ve waited a long time for you. (He takes her and kisses her.) You see, Peggy, you’re no good, and I love you for it. Because I’m no good, too. I don’t know why, but it’s so. Now, before we know it, we’ll be separated, and I won’t be seeing you again for a long time. Remember me, so that when we do meet again, you’ll know who I am. PEGGY I’ve got a poor memory, but I guess I’ll know you just the same. STEVE (Kissing her again) You’ll remember, don’t worry. (They stand, kissing.) THE VOICE OK, people! Here we go again! I’m not going to go through the whole speech. You’re going out whether you like it or not, so get going, and good luck to you! (Everybody goes. Only STEVE and PEGGY stand together, kissing.) OK, you two – get going! (PEGGY tries to move, but STEVE won’t let her go.) Come on, come on, you American lovers, get going! (PEGGY struggles. STEVE holds her. She falls. He holds her terribly.) PEGGY (Whimpering) Let me go – please let me go! (They struggle passionately for some time.) THE VOICE What’s this? What goes on around here? (A whistle is blown, like a police whistle, but STEVE clings to PEGGY. At last PEGGY breaks away from him, gets to her feet, turns and runs. STEVE gets up and looks around, smiling wisely. He straightens out. As he stands, a newborn babe begins to bawl, as if it were himself being born. He looks around, turns easily, and walks out.) STEVE OK, OK. I’m going. The End